"Venture outside your comfort zone. The rewards are worth it." - Rapunzel

When we think of the things in life that make us feel safe and secure, the list can be longer than anticipated once those things cease to exist or at least in the way we are most familiar.  Letting go of what we know and embracing what is can be scary, exciting, painful, and tremendous.  Life's experiences cause us to re-examine what we think and reshape what we thought to be true.  After being here only one month, here's what I know:

Creature comforts from home do exist, and I was happy to have them when I first landed, but I came for adventure so my shopping cart looks a little different with each trip I make to buy groceries.  The added plus is that these stores are a part of the mall, so I can do ALL of my shopping in one trip.  It's Wal-Mart on another level.  The downside, I somehow still manage to get lost on the taxi ride home and can never really figure out where I am or how to tell the driver to navigate the streets.  SMH

Clockwise from top left:

Remains of a Superfood Salad; one of many dishes served at 

Naranj; Cold Stone Creamery all the way in Kuwait; 

the options available at Tim Horton's, a Canadian favourite; 

If you want to eat it, Kuwait has it and will deliver it right to your door!!  It seems as if Kuwait is known by many as the food capital of the world, and this little app called Talabat makes it possible to to conduct your own in-home tastes tests with just a few clicks.  There is obviously no shortage of restaurants, bakeries, and coffee shops, and I have been making my way around the dining scene, one restaurant at a time, and while I have found myself drawn to many of the known favourites, (Chilis, PF Changs, and Starbucks)  I have also enjoyed some unfamiliar options like a Lebanese and Middle Eastern cuisine that caused a party in my mouth!!.   There is a smorgasbord out there and I fully intend to sample them all even if it's while sitting on my couch!

There is a saying that goes a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  Well here, a biscuit in the hand is worth 300GB.  That's right, I said 300. This little gadget (better known around town as a biscuit) is my mobile router that offers me 300GB, yes, 300GB, of data for about $15 a month.  I can video chat everybody!!!!  It fits in my pocket and keeps me connected wherever I am.  Someone needs to tell Verizon to get with the program.

Kids are kids everywhere!!!  They may come from different backgrounds, have different fundamental beliefs, be accustomed to different facets of living, and represent an array of physical characteristics, but they are still kids who want someone to hear them, care about them, set boundaries, and help them sort out what they see for their futures.

The music of the day and night here is a car horn.  I actually think drivers must be frustrated musicians and composers constantly engaged in a melodic battle to see whose note rings the loudest.

Riding in anything that moves is a serious test of faith!! Being an unlicensed driver is bliss because the rules of the road are like nothing I have ever experienced.   Round-abouts take on a whole different meaning when the right-of-way is given to the inside lane...say what now?  Sidewalks are not made for walking but for parking, and painted lines in the road are obviously just for decoration when two lanes on your side of the median quite easily become five if that's how you want to roll.   You know; Get in where you fit in!!!   For my time here, I'll stick to riding in a taxi with my eyes focused on my phone, so I can avoid looking at the road. Maybe that's why I keep getting lost...hmmm!!!

Swimming in the Gulf

The bakala (this country's version of a Quik Trip or 7-Eleven or Kangaroo) are at the bottom of almost every apartment building and give the idea of a convenience store new life.  What would cost me $6 -$8 in the US will usually be $3 or less here which is detrimental to my figure and my sugar and Lord knows neither area needs any added interference or pressure!!!

In the past few weeks, I have literally and figuratively jumped into the deep end.  Yesterday's boat trip
on the gulf to a little island in the middle of the sea was relaxing and refreshing.  Although I haven't yet let go of my fear of heights and didn't dare jump from the upper deck like so many of the others, when we stopped and anchored about 45 minutes from our island destination just to cool off and enjoy the sea, I wasted no time joining in the fun and checking off another thing on my bucket list. Now more than ever, I am anxiously and excitedly waiting for Camryn to come in December so we can share some of the adventures together.  I'm still working on my mom, but I think she's coming around.

Finally, there is ABSOLUTELY something new and beautiful to behold in the most unlikely places. Respect and reverence for lives lost extends around the world and demonstrates how turmoil affects everyone.  While the news and media can give you insight into what's happening elsewhere, we all need to be mindful that those views are not all encompassing.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying!" - Morgan Freeman - The Shawshank Redemption

August 9th, I tearfully boarded that plane knowing I had just said goodbye to my fave girl, my chest tightening with every breath.  Was this the right thing? We were doing this all wrong.  I was supposed to be dropping her off not the other way around. Was she going to be okay without me.  More importantly, was I going to be okay without her!?  The tears just wouldn't stop coming.  I thought back over the last two weeks and realized how very full my life has been even with its ebbs and flows, it's highs and lows.  During those days, I focused my attention on Camryn, lining up all the things for her trek to college.  I constantly asked her if she was truly okay with this change.  We watched old home movies and laughed heartily at the foolishness that has always been our lives. We had our annual Lucas/Maybank Blowout (which doubled as my going away party), and I had a BLAST!!!   I spent time with my brother and sister and my niece and nephews, knowing that our interactions would soon be limited to phone calls, texts and video chats.  I hugged them both my siblings more tightly than I think ever have before. I wasn't going to see anyone for a year! I'd have to wait till next summer for spray chicken, vodka infused watermelon slushies, a rainbow of jello shots, and macaroni reminiscent of my grandma Helen Lucas's.  I texted my O'Neill cousins who wished me well and shared their  hopes for a safe journey.  I spent some quality time with my mom, eating our fair share of snacks and treats and vowing to make better choices with each bite. I awoke each morning (except one :-)) to the smell of childhood breakfast favourites - shrimp and cream of wheat, grits, bacon, sausage, and salmon patties - and being asked about dinner requests before I could finish eating.  I reached to hug her just because I needed to hug my mom.  I spent a few minutes with my sweet Sassi in her new home and knew she would be in good hands.

Of course, I missed my dad even more and went to the cemetery to make sure I still felt the same about my decision.  I knew if it wasn't right, he'd find a way to let me know, but that peace and serenity was as strong as ever.  And then I made my way to Charlotte to hang out with Camryn and my mom before boarding the plane.

I was nervously excited as expected and didn't sleep long before my alarm sounded, and then, I was off to begin this long awaited journey.  From Charlotte to New York to Dubai to Kuwait, I was watching my life's landscape change as if I were a patron at at movie theatre with only the tears falling from my eyes down my face to remind me that this was indeed my life, and so as I sit her at 1 in the morning on my bed in my new home on the other side of the world, I am comforted by the fact that I am definitely getting busing living cause I refuse to die with the regret of never trying.  #TAOA

Just Doin' Me!!

                                                                                               

From the moment I first heard "Just Do You" by India Arie, I knew these were words I wanted Camryn to hear, internalize, and live!!  This song is all about taking that calculated risk, exploring life, creating your own path, and controlling it, and I have had this song on repeat in her life ever since.  When I thought she was losing her way, I reminded her of a few passages from the Bible, and blasted this song.  When I felt that self doubt was kicking in, I played this song! When I thought she might be affected by the treatment or words of someone else, I played this song.  I have always known that she can be whatever she wants because she is absolutely smart, and witty, and personable!  I just needed her to know and continue to believe that.  

Then I thought, if this mantra is good enough for Camryn, then of course, these words are good enough for me.  So to those who have nothing but negativity to toss in my direction, who ask if I'm crazy, who tell me repeatedly how hot it is as a way to change my thinking, who are just not on my team, don't waste your time because I am just doing me!!!  Every story needs someone to write it, and I am absolutely excited about revising mine!!!!

#TAOA

Life has brought many changes my way over the last four years, and with this impending empty nest flashing before my eyes,  I am not so sure I am ready to embrace this latest change at all.  See, my life for the last 16 years has been all about Camryn, and I enjoyed every minute of it.  My days and weeks were filled yet predictable:  weekday volleyball games and weekend tournaments, acting as Camryn's personal chauffeur, spur-of-the-moment mother/daughter road trips and adventures that gave me time to spend with my fave girl and bond before we reached this point we find ourselves in now.

In a few short weeks, she is headed off to college to begin her life, and I am faced with the reality that I am going to be left behind, lonely and bored.  All sorts of thoughts and questions flood my mind: What am I going to do with myself? How will I find purpose again?  Do I really know how to just be me, not Cam's mom, and enjoy life?  Would never ending sadness and depression loom around the corner?

For her, this is an exciting and scary time and equally so for me as well.  Deep inside, I know that change is good, but it is hard to accept sometimes.  I also know that I need to snap out of these dreary thoughts, get myself together, and audaciously chart a new path for my life.  After weeks, no months, of wallowing, I am deciding and choosing to view this change as something to look forward to instead of something to dread.  It is clear that time is passing swiftly.  With each unencumbered moment, I reminisce on all the things I wanted to do before I became a mom, and I feel an overwhelming sense of urgency to put my thoughts into action.

So in 30 days, I will be grabbing life by the proverbial horn and making moves, BIG MOVES because, like the little boy who sang out to the mynah bird,  I've got plans, BIG PLANS, I say!




PS: Shout out to Jaime Miranda for helping me to capture my essence through a hashtag#!
#MsAlgebruhhhPresents