Yes, I Am Moving...Again!!

Moving is second nature for me and almost like breathing.  My cousin, Leslie, told me a few years ago that she stopped writing my address in her book in pen (yes, she still had an address book back then) because it never stays the same for too long. The reality of that hit home when Camryn graduated this past June from West Florence High School, the 9th school she has attended (and the one she attended the longest at 2.5 years).  I like to think that all of these moves just make us people who adapt super easily to whatever comes. At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it, so what's one more move?!

I must say, though, this new move is my most adventurous of all, and I am super excited about it, just not about the packing.  I keep trying to figure out how to pack up my life in three 50 lb suitcases and a 15 lb carry-on. The word downsizing doesn't even do justice for what's going on in this place.

Right now, I sit amongst wall to wall boxes and bins and bags in a small space I have carved out for myself on the couch just so I could take a break to eat and write for a few.  Free space right now is a much sought after thing up in here.  Camryn said yesterday that there is so much piled in the hallway that she gets startled when she walks out of her room because she keeps thinking someone is standing there.

There is a section for Habitat for Humanity, a section for Goodwill, a section for storage and a much needed section for trash.  Although, I am not one to save much  (A friend of mine would disagree with this statement since I save almost everything Camryn has ever made me or written or worn that was special), and I have already downsized twice before, this kind of move is really forcing me to make some decisions about the things we have and need.  It's amazing how much can be accumulated in short periods of time, but I am really looking forward to this minimalistic beginning to my new expat life.

Oh well, I must get back to it.  Time's a wasting!

#TAOA

Life has brought many changes my way over the last four years, and with this impending empty nest flashing before my eyes,  I am not so sure I am ready to embrace this latest change at all.  See, my life for the last 16 years has been all about Camryn, and I enjoyed every minute of it.  My days and weeks were filled yet predictable:  weekday volleyball games and weekend tournaments, acting as Camryn's personal chauffeur, spur-of-the-moment mother/daughter road trips and adventures that gave me time to spend with my fave girl and bond before we reached this point we find ourselves in now.

In a few short weeks, she is headed off to college to begin her life, and I am faced with the reality that I am going to be left behind, lonely and bored.  All sorts of thoughts and questions flood my mind: What am I going to do with myself? How will I find purpose again?  Do I really know how to just be me, not Cam's mom, and enjoy life?  Would never ending sadness and depression loom around the corner?

For her, this is an exciting and scary time and equally so for me as well.  Deep inside, I know that change is good, but it is hard to accept sometimes.  I also know that I need to snap out of these dreary thoughts, get myself together, and audaciously chart a new path for my life.  After weeks, no months, of wallowing, I am deciding and choosing to view this change as something to look forward to instead of something to dread.  It is clear that time is passing swiftly.  With each unencumbered moment, I reminisce on all the things I wanted to do before I became a mom, and I feel an overwhelming sense of urgency to put my thoughts into action.

So in 30 days, I will be grabbing life by the proverbial horn and making moves, BIG MOVES because, like the little boy who sang out to the mynah bird,  I've got plans, BIG PLANS, I say!




PS: Shout out to Jaime Miranda for helping me to capture my essence through a hashtag#!
#MsAlgebruhhhPresents